We Teach Women to Retreat, We Teach Men to Advance

we teach women to retreat
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My inbox’s tone has been very gentle lately. The newsletters tell me, it’s a big scary world and I shouldn’t feel bad staying in my fetal position and only resurfacing when the world is better. Drinking more wine, spending time alone, and vegging out are encouraged, perhaps even celebrated.

Most of my newsletters are directed at women. This is not a coincidence. We teach women to retreat; we men to take charge.

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100 Good Stories During The Coronavirus Lockdown

100 positive stories during the coronavirus
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Good Stories During the Coronavirus

There is no shortage of bad things to discuss right now. It’s easy to lambast governments for their actions or inactions or to be indignant at people for not socially distancing properly or for panic buying or other acts of selfishness. We were already in an outrage cycle before the world fell apart.

If I move away from the internet, I see so much good and so much to be grateful for. I could find good stories even during the coronavirus lockdown. If this pandemic were happening pre-Zoom and Google Hangouts, pre-Internet, pre-Tiger King, it would be way worse. I’m grateful that this is all happening as the weather is getting warmer so people have the option to go outside and might even get more sunshine than normal. I’m excited for my friends who are new parents, who get to spend more time with their newborns while on lockdown. Really, it could have been much worse.

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50 Quick & Simple Financial Tasks You Can Accomplish in Quarantine

50 quick and simple financial tasks to do in quarantine
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There are so many financial tasks that we “know” we should do, but who has the time to even remember them, let alone do them. But now that we are all in social distancing, do we have a lot of excuses?

I’ve compiled a list of 50 quick and simple financial tasks you can complete in quarantine to get you jumpstarted on your money goals. These aren’t all clearly “financial” but every part of your life impacts your finances – your health, your relationships, etc. I wouldn’t do them all in a day, but any one of them is feasible in a day. These are all beginner tasks but stay tuned for another post with more advanced tips.

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What Happened When I Retired for a Year at 35

what happened when I retired for a year
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On February 4, 2019, I quit my job. February 19 was my last day at work, and February 20 was my first day of freedom. On this one year anniversary, I’d like to look back at what happened the year that I retired at 35.

The “Accomplishments”

I read another blogger’s early retirement post and he could quantify a great deal of accomplishments. And I guess I can rattle off things I’ve done, but that seems like running a different kind of rat race. 

I kept busy on my time off. I’ve traveled a bit – to L.A., New York, San Francisco, Redmond, Capetown, Johannesburg (South Africa), Lisbon, Porto, and Sintra (Portugal). This is what I would say if people asked me what I had done with the year. Travel seems to be the only “real” accomplishment worth noting when you’re retired. And to be fair, South Africa was eye-opening, especially after listening to Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood. But to me, the really interesting changes were when I was home. 

What I’m focusing on in this post is not necessarily my choices during the year, but the repercussions. I often would made one choice that led to another choice and all those choices led to a different trajectory. It’s like when I started this blog, then I started Twitter to promote it, then I met friends, and two of those friends were the duo that started Chain of Wealth, who will figure significantly in some of these adventures. You just never know where things are going to take you. And the oddest part of any journey may be where you end up. 

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What If We Stopped Teaching Women to Be Afraid?

stop telling women to be afraid
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How Fear Became Common Sense for Women

Why do we teach women to be afraid? For years now, I’ve seen articles and social media posts discussing how #yesallwomen live in constant fear of violence.  This fear means women refrain from many enjoyable routine activities like exercising, going out at night, or traveling by themselves.

This idea bothers me every time I see it. The fear is grossly outsized compared with the actual risk. For example, Wikipedia states:

Although fear of crime is a concern for people of all genders, studies consistently find that women around the world tend to have much higher levels of fear of crime than men, despite the fact that in many places, and for most offenses, men’s actual victimization rates are higher. [emphasis added]

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How to Help a Depressed Lawyer (Especially When that Lawyer Is You) (Part 2 of 2)

Lawyers and depression go together far too often. Learn how to help lawyers who are suffering from mental health problems.

help a depressed lawyer

 

In my previous post, I talked about why lawyers are so depressed and now we get to the meat: how to help a depressed lawyer. TL:DR  – the legal world is an environment that leads to depression. It doesn’t provide meaning, creativity, the chance to build meaningful relationships, the opportunity to be in nature, security, hope, intrinsic values, etc. The good news is that there’s likely nothing wrong with you if you’re a lawyer and you’re depressed. The environment would be enough to make a lot of mentally resilient people depressed. Still, we shouldn’t feel content knowing the causes of depression – we should learn ways to combat it. The following are some ideas to help a lawyer with depression, even if that lawyer is you.

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Why Are Lawyers So Depressed? (Part 1 of 2)

helping depressed lawyers
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A month ago, I logged into Facebook and saw a suicide note. Through the comments, I found out, my friend had passed. The situation reminded me of the last suicide I had heard of – a young lawyer- and the mental health problems that disproportionately affect attorneys. While some commentators have tried to explain why attorneys suffer from depression, I wasn’t convinced so I looked into it myself. So why are lawyers so depressed? Here are my thoughts.

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50 Tiny Calming Habits for a Happier Life

50 tiny calming habits for a happier life
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As a lawyer, learning calming habits are a must. I’m a typically type-A nutjob. Now, a lot of people think being type-A means you’re a jerk, and there’s definitely a correlation. There’s just something about Type-A people that makes them think that they are in a constant battle with time. Because of that, Type-A people are prone to stress and stress-related illnesses. And that can easily translate into being a jerk.

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