Should You Pay for Someone Else’s Groceries?

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Someone posted on Next Door that someone had asked his wife to pay for her groceries. His wife took pity on the asker and paid. The comments chastised the wife for not having adequate boundaries, noting that there were many resources out there to pay for the asker’s groceries, and that his wife had probably fallen for a scam.

There was one comment that spoke from the asker’s experience. A woman had once tried to pay for groceries for herself and her daughter, found out that she did not have adequate funds for the complete transaction, and then broke down crying in the store. A store cashier paid for that woman’s groceries and the woman remembers that small act of kindness to this day.

Should You Pay For Someone Else’s Groceries?

My initial thought about the post was that the woman should not pay because she had no idea if the asker was involved in a scam. I was in a Costco once where a woman would go up to a different man every 20 minutes and ask for him to buy her a pizza because she was hungry. She would then deliver the pizza to a van outdoors. I don’t really know what the scam was about or if the woman was a willing participant in it.

Also, I echo the comments about there being resources that exist to help people pay for groceries – I used to work for one of them. That being said, I know the problems with these programs. There are delays and waiting periods and hoops to jump through. And they’re not open to everyone who needs help in this country.

Finally, I echoed the comments that the wife lacked boundaries. I wonder about the ethics of giving to people who solicit at traffic stops because, if they are able to stand out there for hours, they should be able to work inside. I don’t want to encourage people down that route. But here, this is someone who might not have the funds to pay for food right now. She might not have other options.

Why You Should Pay for Others’ Groceries If You Can Afford It

I thought about all my objections and decided I could find no reason not to pay for someone’s groceries if you can afford it.

What if it’s a scam? We often tell people who give money to possible scammers that they should be more careful. But really, we shouldn’t shame the people for being generous. Yes, there are people who will prey on your generosity. Those are the people who should be shamed. There’s no shame in giving because you are a compassionate and generous person. Don’t let the scammers change you or, by association, hinder those who actually do need help from receiving it from generous people.

An article recently noted that the upper middle class pooh-pooh the country’s obsession with inflation at the grocery store. But inflationary food prices are a huge concern for those that are less fortunate. It’s easy to become callous to problems that we do not face.  I’m not judging anyone for refusing to pay for someone else’s groceries for any reason. That was certainly my first impulse. But that’s not the kind of person I want to become.

Too often we talk about how to save money. Paying for someone else’s groceries is certainly not a good way to save money. But it’s a good way to realize that we could have it worse and to realize that there are still generous people in the world – us.